"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
