I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
