yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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