and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
