Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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