When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
