Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
