whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
