I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
