But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
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