Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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