That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
