There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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