guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
