You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
