YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
