I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
