not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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