apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
My ass is underappreciated
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
