Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
