Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
