Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Someone came in the potted fern
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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