oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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