If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
