Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
In other news, I just burned my penis
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
