Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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