We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
