she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
