I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
