Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
