So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
