So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
