I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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