Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
