I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
