Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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