don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
she told me i tasted like america
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
