You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Randomize
