walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I party with great urgency now.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
