just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
