I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
