oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
