CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
