3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
