To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
