Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
try to milk me bitch
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