You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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