Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
