Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
My vagina just recognized that song.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
