Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Randomize
