Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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