it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
